Pet Peeve August 20, 2008

I’ve returned to my teaching job.  Every time I see someone I haven’t seen for a while, it seems like I hear the following:

“Hi, Coco!  How is the baby?!”

I don’t know.  Maybe I’m being a scrooge here.  But how about asking how I am doing?  I haven’t seen you for three months.  The baby–a toddler, really–is doing what toddlers do.   I never really know how to respond except to say “she’s fine,” which is sort of boring.  Am I supposed to offer photos, latest accomplishments?

I don’t know.  Maybe I just like being a grownup, not a mom, to my colleagues at work.  But this one bugs me.

Help with the Zzzzs August 17, 2008

So, may I ask for your advice?

Mavis is about 2 and a third years old.  She had, for a long time when we first got home, trouble falling asleep, but we haven’t had issues with it for over a year.  She sleeps from 7 to 7 and takes a nap from about 12 until 3, usually about 2.5 hours per nap, but once or twice a week, she’ll easily go up to a 3 hour nap.  But lately, she’s taking as much as 90 minutes to get to sleep in her bed.  We do the full bedtime routine, leave her in her dark and quiet room and don’t go back in.  She’s usually quiet for the first 30 or so minutes, but then suddenly we hear bursts of song (show tunes, commentary on her favorite cartoons, whatever) emanating from her crib.  She never sound upset–really, she sounds like she’s having a fine ol’ time in here–and doesn’t call for us.

How long does it take your kiddos to get to sleep?  Are we putting her to sleep too early?  Is it scarring her to let her hold a concert in her crib before she falls asleep?

Passing Judgment August 13, 2008

At times, when I read adult adoptee blogs, I think that today’s APs get a bad rap.  We go through some relatively intense educational sessions through our agencies. There are more and more great books about raising trans-racially adopted children.  And goodness knows there are wonderful online resources.

We’ll do better than the generation before us, right?

Perhaps not. I had a hugely judgmental moment when I dropped Elsie off at daycare this morning. The owner of the daycare had made a point of telling me about a new family starting today – their daughter is a 16-month-old adopted from China. In the email the owner sent to me, she remarked, “I think you and (the girl’s mom) would really enjoy knowing each other.  You both have been on our waiting list for a long time and you both seem to have the same priorities in your lives.”

I brushed aside the initial annoyance I always feel when someone assumes that I will automatically become fast friends with another mom with a daughter from China (silly of me, I know). And I chatted with the mom as she introduced me to her daughter. I asked how long they’d been home (3 months), the province where her daughter was from (Guangdong, like Elsie), and the city/SWI where she had lived.

I got a blank look at that last question.

“Hmmm,” she thought out loud. “I think they said it was roughly 4 hours from Guangzhou.  Give me a minute and I’ll think of it.”  When she couldn’t come up with the name, she shook her head, smiled at me and laughed, “Sorry, I just can’t recall.”

Is it hugely judgemental of me to be appalled that she has no idea the city and/or SWI where her daughter spent the first 13months of her life?  It did add to my annoyance over the owner’s previous comment about “having the same priorities” as this woman.  Um, not so much.

And there you have it — my judgmental moment that reinforces why so many APs get a bad rap…

Stuff August 7, 2008

Okay, let’s talk about goods.  Here are some products for the kiddo that I like.

• Mabel’s Labels. Expensive, but worth it.
• Trunki suitcase.  Ditto.  Really fun in the airport.
• This shampoo cup.
• This toy. It looks boring, but there are so many ways to talk about it.
• Every book by Mo Willems.
• Pediped shoes.  Mavis is too big for them now, but she used to live in them.
• These little goody suitcases. We pack them for restaurant trips.
• The Emotional Life of the Toddler–nothing fancy here, but good, simple understanding.
• This hair detangler.  Very lightweight, not slimy like the Johnson’s stuff.  I spray it on Mavis’ head in the morning to tame the bedhead.  Well, for a while, anyway.
• This CD, if you have to listen to kids’ music.
• Melissa and Doug puzzles.
• The Snack Trap. How did people live without these?

What do you love?  Share, share, share.